Where are all the dragons?

On Saturday night, Brian, Rick, and I took a walk down to the liquor store on the corner of Commonwealth Av and Harvard Av to buy some Absinthe. You're probably asking yourself "Isn't that stuff illegal and only in Europe?" Well yes, but from what I had heard, contrary to popular belief, Absinthe was "legalized" the week before in Boston, and was ready for purchase and consumption by the ignorant. So we set out on a journey.

It was a brisk 35 degrees, we walked down to the store, and there it was. Sitting on the shelf. There were a few different kinds, different accouterments, different bottles, different alcohol level. 'Dude this one comes with the melting spoon too!' Brian exclaimed. We obviously got that one.

Now I've never been privy to the making, or consuming of Absinthe before. Apparently there are three parts to the mixing of Absinthe, as so to make it pleasant enough to the palate to drink. You first melt a cube of sugar over top of the drink, in the melting spoon, and then pour it in coupled with ice cold water. I've also never been around a methlab, but I can only assume this is what it feels like. Three guys just sitting around melting a substance looking like fiends just ready to get as fucked up as possible. So we were hoping for the best.

Brian and I pace ourselves. Were having a good time onDemanding Job For A Cowboy videos waiting for dragons to appear. Meanwhile, Ricky downs close to four of these concoctions and passes out at 8:30 pm. I went ahead and made the assumption Ricky was seeing all sorts of shit at this point and HAD to go to bed or else he would try to fight the dragons he was seeing, only to find out the dragon was a green line train or something worse. So I hurriedly mixed one last drink of Absinthe in hopes of fighting my own green line train at some point in the night. But, to no avail.

After some sleuthing it was determined we were part of a hoax we didn't want to be part of. We obviously knew there wasn't wormwood (the ingredient that makes you hallucinate) in this Absinthe, but maybe there was a substitute? Wrong. Its just a terrible, and expense way to get drunk. But neither Brian, or I got drunk. I was pretty upset by the whole scenario, I began the walk down to a different liquor store with a hole in my pocket and no conscience. So I bought three bottles of md 20/20. No, I didn't get to see any dragons.